Who Gives a (Top) Sheet?

Not these Scandinavian Sleep Test Administrators

Dear Friend,

My husband, Paul, is a person who has many theories. One of these is that most people can be categorized as either: “Sleep people,” “Food people” or “Sex people.” Which is to say that if food, sex and sleep were all options, but only one of these could be experienced “to its fullest expression,” some people would prioritize sex, some food, and some sleep.

If I were to subscribe to this system of categorization, I would likely be a “sleep person.”

Maybe that’s why, scrolling through yesterday’s news headlines, I merely skimmed the reports of Supreme Court decisions and the latest frightening weather catastrophes but fully focused my critical thinking skills on this hard-hitting piece of journalism:

One Bed, Two Blankets: We Put the Scandinavian Sleep Method to the Test.*

If you’re you’re unfamiliar with the term, the Scandinavian Sleep Method refers to a couple sharing a bed, but having individual bedding.

graphic for sure stolen from some website

Individual bedding seems like a practical idea that could cut down on blanket tug-of-wars or the person who “sleeps hot” flinging off the covers to the irritation of the person who still wants them. So, sure, why not test it?

For the article, the folks at the Washington Post “gave five couples two twin-size down alternative comforters each and asked them to try the method for a week.” 

I read this, and as a serious sleeper who has picked my side in the top sheet wars, I immediately thought, What about top sheets? Did this include separate top sheets? I’m sure it included top sheets and just didn’t mention top sheets…

In a word, no. Despite a baseline measurement where 5 out of 5 Test Couples reported that they normally slept with top sheets, the test administrators did not think that it was necessary to provide top sheets.

How did the couples respond?

• 2 out 5 Test Couples opted to go sans sheet for this experiment.
  Now, I’m not even getting judgy about a sheet-free lifestyle, I’m just saying it’s bad science to test for the effect of changing one variable (individual bedding vs shared bedding) while changing a second, obvious variable (the sudden, shocking tactile experience of a comforter on skin vs the familiar feel of a sheet).

• 2 out of 5 Test Couples shared a queen sheet under their separate duvet/comforters.**
  We all understand how the mechanics of this defeat the the object of the entire experiment, right? 

• 1 out of 5 Test Couples couples found some old twin top sheets and used them. This is my favorite couple. They understand the scientific method. I would like to go a couples date with them and see if they also like Settlers of Cataan. 

Top sheets aside—another interesting nugget:

• 3 out of 5 couples stated they don’t typically make their beds. 
  Maybe I don’t suck so much more at adulting as I usually feel like I do. 

And finally, to end the suspense, the results of the experiment:

• 0 of 5 Test Couples hated Scandinavian sleeping.
  Essentially, everyone shrugged and said, “it’s fine.”

• 2 of 5 couples decided to adopt a Scandinavian Sleeping arrangement.

• 3 of 5 couples returned to their previous arrangement, but 

  • 1 of those 3 couples said they might switch later if they found bedding they liked. 

Yours, pondering the deep questions,

B

*This is a gift link to a Washington Post article. If it doesn’t work, it might have expired.

** The fact that the article uses the terms duvet and comforter interchangeably is problematic. A comforter is one item—basically a fluffy bedspread—while a duvet is an insert that goes inside a cover. With a duvet, you can wash the duvet cover only. If you wash a comforter, you need to wash the entire comforter. So they are not interchangeable… unless, of course, you use a top sheet, because then you can wash your sheet and forego washing either comforter or duvet for a year or more. Follow me for more housekeeping tips!